When we got our family photos back this last time, one of my girls took a look, wrinkled her nose and proclaimed: I don’t like the way I look!

She’s never looked anything but beautiful to me so my immediate reply was Why not? That’s your face! That’s what everyone else sees when they look at you. Why don’t you like it?

I just don’t. I don’t like my smile.

Well, I don’t like my double chin but it’s part of my face. Besides, you’re probably the only person who doesn’t like your smile. Do you know what people think when they look at you?

Eyes downcast. Mumbley voice: No.

They think of your good humor, the way you laugh, how artistic you are. They think of all the delicious food you’ve made and how well you bake. They think of how thoughtful you are, and how kind you’ve been. They’re not finding fault with your face, they’re looking at you as a whole person and you’re beautiful, whether you like your smile or not.

And somewhere in the middle of that little speech I found the tables had turned and I was talking to myself just as much as her.

Just a few years ago, we had a family photo session and the photographer caught me laughing. Head tilted back, mouth wide open and when I saw the photo for the first time I cringed. This was definitely Not your typical model shot. It took me several moments, but I finally shrugged my shoulders and thought: Well, this is probably how other people see me most of the time anyway! Laughing.

If you are one of those people in my real flesh and bones life, you know what I mean. I have a very big, very loud laugh. It’s as much a part of me as my brown and green eyes, the dimple in my chin. More than once I’ve had friends come up to me in a random store saying, I knew you were close because I heard your laugh!

I never shared that photo because I didn’t feel it was very flattering. But that’s me. My face. My body. Frozen mid-laugh. And if you’ve heard me laugh, your mind probably pulled up that file as soon as you saw this photo. Amazing, huh?

It’s good to remember that love beautifies. When people see me, I’m sure they’re not scoffing at the double chin, or the awkward left arm, or the fact that my eyes practically disappear whenever I laugh. They will look and remember (hopefully) the essence of what that photo represents: my soul. A person’s beauty or lack thereof is never just skin deep. Our perception changes as we get to know people: bitterness and anger can mar a beautiful face, just as kindness and generosity can beautify a simple one. Photos have the ability to pull memories up and if we have lived well, they will be good ones. That is what people see.

I thought perhaps we could all use the reminder:

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

I’m certain we all have imperfections we’d rather cover or hide, but anyone who loves you is looking through rose-colored glasses anyway. Inward beauty has a way of shapeshifting what people see when they look at you, regardless of how you feel.

Originally shared October 6, 2022